我手打我心

sunday is gloomy,
绝望的星期天,
my hours are slumberless,
我的时间在沉睡,
dearest, the shadows i live with are numberless ,
亲爱的,我生活在无数暗影中
little white flowers will never awaken you ,
白色的小花将不再能唤醒你
not where the black coach of sorrow has taken you
黑色的悲伤轿车(灵车!)上载着你
angels have no thought of ever returning you
天使们将不会回顾到你
would they be angry if i thought of joining you
他们是不是愤怒了因为我想加入你
gloomy sunday
绝望的星期天
sunday is gloomy
星期天是绝望的
with shadows i spend it all
和暗影一起我将它结束
my heart and i have decided to end it all
我的心脏和我都相信这是它的终结
soon there’l be flowers and prayers that are sad,
很快这里的鲜花和祈祷文将是悲伤的,
i know, let them not weep,
我知道,(这祷文)让他们不哭泣,
let them know that i’m glad to go
让他们知道我很高兴离开
death is no dream,
死亡不是梦
for in death i’m caressing you
因为我在死亡中爱抚着你
with the last breath of my soul i’ll be blessing you
在我灵魂最后的呼吸中我祝福你
gloomy sunday
绝望的星期天
dreaming
梦中
i was only dreaming
我不只是在梦中
i wake and i find you
我醒来并且寻找你
asleep in the deep of
我的心脏陷入深深的睡眠
my heart dear
亲爱的

darling i hope that my dream never haunted you
心上人我希望我的梦不会让你苦恼
my heart is telling you how much i wanted you
我的心脏告诉你我有多么想你
gloomy sunday
绝望的星期天

This morning i drove mummy to my aunt's house coz a "famous" fortune teller who come from Singapore arrived. Wanna know the result? At first, i have to state that i am not a superstition person but it doesn't means that i am not a free thinker. I believe in Karma. You reap what you sow. We have the responsibility for what we done. There must be a reason why i have to encounter this problem. Indeed i always to use Karma to alert myself from doing evil thing. ( out of topic again >.< )
Actually mummy meet that master before and daddy know him three years ago but he didn't noticed that but mummy didn't speak it out also. (purposely want test him la)
Surprising me was he is quite accurate when comes to my daddy and mummy lo. Although i doubt that at the first but he won my trust after further conversation. Well, he even said that daddy may have a love affair when he older =.=" At that moment daddy was not there, therefore he didn't found out the identity of mummy. But right after he said that daddy gonna have a love affair daddy's car arrived (0.o) He was shocked when saw daddy coz he said that shouldn't said. At that time i can sense that he is quite regret for what he told mummy lo. Erm... without saying that we wouldn't tell daddy what he said la. But i wonder the reaction of daddy when he hear that...
Curious what he said about me? He said i should stay at Muar and work for daddy. Maybe he forgot that daddy work as medium constructor. How he expect me work at the work field =.= Anyway that's not the point. Main point is he said that i may get married before 28 ^^ Huhuhu~ Happy happy~ My best friends should know that i wish i can get married before 25~ It may seems unbelievable at this times but for me i really enjoy with organize a family with my beloved and become younger father which in the future may play dota or online game with my son (or daughter). However, i have to face the reality that i couldn't afford to provide a good life to my beloved. At least not now.

God ar~
grant me a good job please~
grant me a girlfriend please~

It's been a long time since Benjamin called me last time. Yeap indeed we had a nice chat. He become more mature and i didn't felt any uneasy during 38 minutes conversation. Glad to heard that he got an interview in Malacca and that company willing to keep the post for him before he pass a test. 4th of June was Tianquan's birthday. Without the doubt i was the first who greet him happy birthday, even earlier than his girlfriend ^^ What a pity i cant join Christine and Jim go KL to celebrate Tianquan's birthday >.< Due to stupid part-time i am not able to take out even a day to join them. Anyway i pretty sure Tianquan wouldn't blame me didn't fulfill my promised to him (^.^)
Sincere hope that next year we able gather together no matter whose birthday~

My master application approved. I should be very happy? Before i finish my last semester in upm, i though i am able to get a job which can meet up to my satisfy. But my dream vanished right after my holiday start. Sent out more than 20 resumes yet only one respond from CIMB. and they offer me as negotiator (legal ah long =.= ). One month at home and do nothing make me feel like i am a moron and good for nothing. I hate to be that. u will never know how i envy my friends can start work at june. My result make me cant ask for more therefore i reduced my require and put my hope on "normal" compamy and "normal" job. Still disappointed me. Okok. That's enough for me. Either further master or be a teacher. Be or not to be.
If u were me, what will u choose?

Today is the first day of June. As i promised to farid, i gonna to write my blog with English more frequent XD I have to admit that my English is broken and poor >.< Although few of my friends around me are English educated (joshua, gary, oliver) but my English still hardly get improved. I wonder how am i going to face my colleague if i work in KL. It's open secret that most of the people whose work in KL they only two languages either English nor Cantonese. Woefully, Cantonese really is my weakness. Whenever i speak Cantonese to waiter or someone need to speak with Cantonese, my friends sure burst their sides with laughter *%#@%+~ Well, i said that Cantonese in South part are not popular in use. We speak more mandarin and Hokkien.
Okok back to English. My pronunciation never failed to make a show of myself before my presentation. How i wish i can as eloquent as Joshua. Although boyboy always said that " u can make it just u lack of confident!" I know it may be true in some way but sometime it's not as simple as u confident can untie everything. (that's me. always find the excuse to shift the blame)
Oh my god i had been far and far from what i want to write. But blog should be at blogger's pleasure rite?
All the best to my friends whose been start their first job after graduate. So far i know got joyce, oliver, 388, joshua, sarah, christine, jiahow, mc (not sure yet anyway i not very close with him oso :p)
I have to work harder to find job if i wanna to start work before convo at August.
Hurray for BIRD! You can make it! (from boyboy)


* to boyboy if u seeing this. that night wat u said to me didnt hurt me at all and i very grateful that u still have the intention to help me to gather the information. And never say sorry to me k? Thanks ar bro.